BNN Newswire

Just Another Climatic Monday

Photo via Pam Davis

Friday Night Global Warming

Last Friday millions of high school students worldwide opted out of classes. They took to the streets and protested global warming or climate change. Ten years from now when everything has been said and nothing has been done people will remember the day more for the Boise win over Air Force 30 to 19.




The Boise game plan was simple; everyone wears black to absorb the heat from the setting sun. That will affect the temperature of the ambient air around Albertsons Stadium during the second half after the sunset; increasing it by .00013549 degrees Fahrenheit.

Thank the Boise State School of Arts and Science for coming up with the concept.

Rocky Bachmeier

In the first half quarterback, Hank Bachmeier got hit more times than Rocky Balboa. However, at half time the o-line got religion, picked up blitzes, and played like champs in the second half.

Maybe it’s just me and usually, it is only me. Hank is like a good counter puncher; he’ll take a punch in order to land a better punch. And he has absolute ice water in his veins when it’s third and long or fourth and impossible.

If he takes the Broncos to a National Championship and at the end of the game pulls off his helmet and yells “Adrian,” I got the movie rights.

Granny Lewis

Hank has proved his grit and then some. With charging bulls (or raging bulls) in his grill he completed passes with all the accuracy of my Grandma Lewis threading needles on the first try. One thing, Grandma Lewis would not put up with is dropped passes. She would swat you with a dustpan or kick you with her two-inch Oxford heels (granny shoes).

Air Force’s quarterback, Donald Hammond, left the game for a while with an ankle injury. He later returned.

The guys in the press box said this game may have had another outcome if not for the injury. Grandma Lewis used to say, “If the dog hadn’t have stopped to scratch a flea he’d have caught the rabbit.” (Grandma didn’t say it exactly that way. I cleaned it up.)

Actual Climate Change

Esteemed BNN writer, Jason Haskins, rightly pointed out that at 8:30 remaining in the game, the o-line and Robert Mahone turned up the heat. How much that affected the Earth’s temperature is up for debate.

From the first snap, it seemed as if Boise knew the Falcons were geared for stopping the running game and so the Broncos passed from the start. The ground game came later.

The guys in the press box pontificate about establishing the running game first. That’s like saying you have to eat raw meat three hours before kickoff.

ESPN is so uninterested in the game that in the second half they always do a couple of minutes on fly fishing are rubber tube rafting on the Boise River.

Then they bring in a “special” guest (like Leon Rice). They talk about fly fishing and rubber tube rafting on the Boise River. This is while teams are marching up and down the field and Rudy gets in his only game, recovers a fumble, and the announcers miss the moment.

Most of what comes out of the press box is hot air and effects global warming as much as cow flatulence.

Temperature Change Hoax and Monkeys

And by the way, that stuff I said about affecting the temperature—I made that all up.

Head coach Bryan Harsin has had an Air Force monkey strapped to his back. His teams lost to the Falcons each of his first three seasons as head coach at Boise.

He now has coached three straight wins. 

Saturday morning I saw a monkey walking south on I 84. He wore a broken strap and thumbing a ride.

Anyway, it was a good win over a good team.




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About Kenton Lewis

Kenton Lewis
Kenton lives in Boise. He is the former publisher of the Boise State sports site, Smurf Turf; writing exclusively about Broncos football and basketball. He is also a novelist and short story writer.

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